Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
