theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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