worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
