I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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