my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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