I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
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