And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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