im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
