I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
