You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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