they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
is it fun? or sober?
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