worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
