Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
