Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize