also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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