I will die if light touches me.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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