I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
