All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
