Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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