a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
