She's JV to your varsity
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
