just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize