I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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