I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
