No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
