His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
