Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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