You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
