its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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