I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
