Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
