You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
