fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory