Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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