I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now