WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize