i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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