Sry I called you an 8
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
