i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
