wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
so much tequila, so little girl.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
