why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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