Got a toothbrush?
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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