Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
