i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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