Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
where are my pants?
in the oven.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
