he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
