I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
