She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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