is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
