I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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