oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
