he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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