I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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