grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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