Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
