So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
