Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
