i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize