I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize