we have officially lost it.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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