Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
