What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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