Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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