I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
