Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize