STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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