Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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