You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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