the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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