and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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