Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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